its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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