So drunk its hurt
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize