Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
