Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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