Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
