I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
