come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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