I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize