Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
don't judge my taste in strippers
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
