Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
