i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
