i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
