I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
