I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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