I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize