yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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