We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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