I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
