feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
