She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You can't just leave with hair like that
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
