I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
