At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
