their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
