I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
