I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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