Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
