Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
