Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He felt like a one man threesome
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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