we're blogging at a bar
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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