Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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