you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
