i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
