Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My bed smells like the plague
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
