my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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