shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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