I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
