whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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