It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
