i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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