Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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