I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
