I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
