Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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