Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
