Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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