All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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