All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
