Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
we should paint friendship bongs
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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