Quick, to the slutcave!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
