Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
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oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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