And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize