totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
