Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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