I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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