cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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