guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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