So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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