no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So much rum. So many feels.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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