There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
