How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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