Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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