all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
