Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
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