It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
