I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
