...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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