walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
