Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just invented taco cereal.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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