she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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